Disgraceful Dae

Oh goody- it’s time for yet another battle of the sexes! Let’s get our boxing gloves on and duke it out!!!

Or we could try actually listening to each other before shoving our opinions down every throat that crosses our path. Stephen Covey put it best when he reminds us that effective people “seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Let’s be effective, conscious and courteous adults and quit playing the blame game.

I have read many posts, tweets and various other social media opinions pertaining to the Heroes of the Storm interview with Dustin Browder. I honestly saw nothing wrong with his responses – especially to a question that was clearly meant to not only catch Browder off-guard, but to back him into a corner and force him into a debate. Fuel was then added to the fire after Blizzard’s Rob Pardo made “similar claims”.

I play MMOs. I play MOBAs. I read comic books. Are female characters in these examples hyper-sexualized? I honestly have not put an awful lot of thought into the whole thing until the soapboxes started being dragged out as of late.

I, personally, have not not been offended by the apparel that women in the above examples wear. Or by any situation that they have faced for that matter. Let us focus on the apparel for this post, as it seems to be what is most under fire.

I’m not blind. I can see that many female characters don significantly less clothing than their male counterparts. Take World of Warcraft for example. Most armor options are far more revealing on a female toon than a male. I have always been alright with this fact. And it is not because I feel that this is a non-issue. I do understand why some take offense.

However, I do not really see this as unfair. Sure, women are running around in their armor-kinis- my toons included (more on this later). But let us turn our attention to some of the male character choices as well.

Since Heroes of the Storm is what sparked this debate, let’s look at Illidan. From a solely physical point of view, how come you never hear people complaining that he is hyper-sexualized? He is a big, strong, beefcake of a Humanoid who runs around with his shirt off allowing him to show off those sweet pecs. Is this not what the media has shown us is the epitome of attractiveness for a male? Other than being purple, would he not be considered your stereotypical “panty dropper”? I know I have caught myself drooling at Illidan’s magnificence on more than one occasion…

Another example that I have seen over and over again is Kerrigan from Starcraft. Alright, so we can see her bum. And it’s a REALLY nice bum. If I had a behind that looked like that, I wouldn’t hesitate to show the world that thang either. And as we focus all of our attention on Kerrigan, we seem to forget that Raynor is, again, a big, beefy dreamboat. He just happens to be wearing more clothes on his lower half- But we still have front row tickets to the gun show up top! ;)

In short, if you are making female characters cover up, then I demand Illidan find a shirt. It is far too distracting to solo Black Temple with him prancing around like sex on a stick. Because that is clearly why I play this game- for hot male characters. And while you are at it, can Raynor get a jacket please? I get a little bit too excited when he flexes. Woops. Imagine that- I just turned male characters into objects of my desire. Which apparently never happens… (sorry- there is some hostility in this paragraph…)

These examples aside, what really makes me angry about this whole thing is when I am attacked for choosing to alter my character’s appearance in a way that makes me happy. My Death Knight happens to be transmogged into a revealing plate-kini. Apparently, according to my attackers (who I will not name here, as I have more class than that), I am not only degrading myself and females in general, but I am also perpetuating the stereotype that women are weak and inferior and in turn should be treated as objects.

Wait, wait, wait… WHAT? Don’t you DARE tell me that I am a disgrace to all women because my AVATAR in a role-playing game is wearing less clothing than you happen to find suitable. It is MY fantasy world and you are ruining it for me! I am very self-conscious in real life and choose to dress my toons in a way that I feel that I, myself, cannot. Just to be surrounded by “justice seekers” belittling my choices and making me feel self-conscious in a place I come for an escape. Good game; you are definitely much better people than I since I am clearly devoid of morals. (In case you didn’t catch on- that was sarcasm. Slut-shaming in any form, even in a video game, is NOT alright.) 

Daevella

My “disgraceful” DK

I would just like to take this time to announce that I am not some sort of anti-feminist. I agree that women are sometimes treated less fairly than men. But on the other side, most of the time I feel most feminism has become a crazy radical push towards superiority rather than equality. And this does not sit well with me. We are all humans and we all have thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs… And if equality is the end goal of these crusades, then why should any of us be made to feel lesser? Please just think about this, and value the fact that I, like you, have an opinion.

This is a hot topic, and I believe that it should be discussed. I just wish that we could all get together and open this up in a more constructive way than has been presented lately. It’s just a shame that some- usually the most confrontational (disguised as “passionate”)- cannot see past their blind hatred.

Symbiosis

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Mangled and Mauled, left alone among trees,
Mark of the Wild falls upon my limp frame.
Humor is your Nature’s Cure for disease,
One Rejuv’s enough for my soul to be claimed.
 
Your words like sweet nectar, forced down my throat,
Entangling Roots so that I can’t run free.
You keep shifting forms, offering a false hope,
CCed in your distorted tranquility.
 
You manage to Pounce on my mind, body soul,
While I’m stunned you Rake off all my Barkskin.
Though Regrowth and Swiftmend may have been your goal,
That Ferocious Bite off my heart was your win.
 
Again, among trees, spirit Mangled and Maimed,
Betrayal so fresh, leaves me shattered and shamed.

Buck Up, Sissy Pants

I wish that I could say that I had the most epic of reasons to not post in so long. I do not want to lie, and I surely do not want some sort of unwarranted pity party into which my life seems to turn when I discuss any emotional turmoil I happen to be experiencing. I love and adore my friends, but they react in the most ridiculous of ways. First it is the realization: OH MY GOD, DAE HAS FEELINGS!!! Which then turns into being overly nice and supportive to over-compensate for the fact that they seemed to forget that I was a being capable of actual human emotion.

That being said, I wish that I could say that I have not been around since July because I simply didn’t feel like it. I am fairly certain that I am not the only one who has gone through seemingly endless cycles of depression that I just can’t seem to shake. It starts with generally feeling sad for some reason or another. In my case it could have been something as silly as I had no soy milk in the fridge, and was forced to drink real milk without first taking my Lactaid. I do not really remember what actually kick started the cycle this time, but it began.

I would wake up in the morning and just lay there, sighing. I’m not getting up because I feel sad, and sad people are allowed to stay in bed. I would lie there for quite some time, trying to go back to sleep so that I don’t have to feel like a pathetic and worthless person. Eventually, after quite a bit of deep thinking, I make myself feel terrible for just lying there and force myself to get up in some sort of feeble attempt to be a productive member of society. I start cooking, or cleaning and then my crazy brain kicks into gear: But why? Why am I cooking? No one is going to eat it. Why am I cleaning? No one is coming over.
Defeated, I sulk back into my warm bed and pull the covers over my face in an attempt to hide from the higher powers who are, without any doubt, judging me.

The second part of this cycle is the guilt that envelops me when I decide that I really have no reason to be this sad and pathetic. I talk to a friend, or read something on the internet only to have this epiphanic moment in which I decide that I really have no right to feel the way I do. My life is sunshine and roses when I put everything into perspective. This guilt consumes me, and I just retreat back to the safety of my bed, accomplishing nothing for the rest of the day.

I, of course, am able to play WoW during this cycle. For some reason, Azeroth seems far enough from “real life” that I feel safe. Or maybe it is the people with which I surround myself in game that make me feel safe. In any case, it sort of helps and makes me feel at least the tiniest bit productive because at least I am out of bed.

This happens day after day…. which becomes week after week….. which becomes month after month.

I wake up one morning, look directly at my reflection and calmly say: Buck up, sissy pants. I remember having a speech ready to give myself, but it didn’t even need to be said. I immediately knew that I was right. I needed to buck up and start acting like an adult because no one is there to follow me around and fix my problems anymore. I started talking to people about WHY I was feeling the way that I was. I explored different options that could possibly help in some way. I slowly return to some semblance of “normal”; whatever that means.

In any case- I am on some sort of path again. I feel like I can serve a greater purpose than just lying in bed all day and staring at my ceiling. I am getting back into the groove of Let’s WoW (Many thanks to Uno and Ghemmy for being so patient with me) and I am even restarting Dots, Hots and Grave Plots again. Oh- and I feel like writing, drawing and painting! Success! I am doing the things that I love again! Huzzah!

With all this being said- thanks for listening and I hope to be writing again a little more often. Probably once a week. I also have a few more poems in the works… because that’s still a thing.

Until next time…

Less QQ, more pew pew!

**PLEASE REMEMBER- Depression hurts. It is not something that should be taken lightly. It is a real illness that greatly affects your life and the everything around you. You are not alone, and there are many resources and venues to seek answers and help. 

Ode to a Night Elf Hunter

Ode to a Night Elf Hunter

Ishnu-alah, brave Night Elf!
Taken from us far too soon.
You live on inside ourselves,
Great memories immune,
Protected by mother Elune.

Shadowglen or Deathknell.
From wherever we may hail,
Your story we will eternally tell,
Soul never to become frail,
Immortalized in the Vale.

Looking up into night skies,
Elloric walks forevermore,
Hidden in spectral guise,
United: Andu-falah-dor!
Balance we will restore.

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Happy Birthday, Elloric. May Elune be ever with you. 

WoW Poetry Corner

Yes yes… long time no post. I am working on a little something. Been feeling kind of blah lately- I will leave this here until then! <3

WoW Sonnet #2

This real life battleground brought me to you
At a time of force cast pain suppression.
I’d have shown up sooner (god damn queue),
To leap of faith you away from depression.

You don’t think that you deserve atonement,
Fear spamming in an attempt to flee.
But you’re rooted at just the right moment;
I purify the disease so you’re free.

I’m left standing in a state of rapture,
For you my inner fire starts burning.
Heart exposed, won’t you come for the capture?
Just think of the conquest you’re earning.

Good game, I was cheering for you from the start.
To steal those enemy flags, then my heart.

You’re My E-Friend

I guess this posting once a month is becoming “my thing”. Life has been super busy and blogging has been the last thing that has been on my mind as of late. I promise I will try and fix that soon for all three of my readers! :) I kid… (or do I?) 

I am sure that many people who read this will already be aware of the tragic tornado that hit Moore, Oklahoma on Monday May 20. My very close friend and officer of Hogger Ate My Homework, Stilby, witnessed the devastation of his town. I am beyond thankful that Stilby and his loved ones are safe and sound, but there are still many that require aid. Please see the bottom of this post for details about how you can help those affected.

That is not what this post is about, however. I just felt that I need to bring everyone up to speed.

This post is about something that I have talked about before, but has been solidified by recent events and emotions. I legitimately and unconditionally love players I have met in this game. I can safely say that I met the two best friends in my life in Azeroth: Stilby and Legion. They are both such selfless, caring and patient individuals. I mean, they both voluntarily put up with me! :P But in all seriousness, I am a better person because of them.

I am also very fortunate to be be part of one of the most supportive and tight-knit guilds you will ever come across in the lands of Azeroth. I have even had outsiders, new to Hogger, comment on the absolute love and adoration for one another that they can feel radiating from our core members. We are not only a guild, we are a family.

And now for the point I wanted to make! I am really tired of being told that these are “just internet friends”. What does that even mean? A friend is a friend whether you met them in an MMO, waiting in line at the bank or at a bar when you went a little wild and crazy one night. So why then, do people around me continue to downplay the importance placed on these “e-friends”? I trust these “virtual friends” a whole heck of a lot more than many of the people I call friends “in real life”. I just find it quite ridiculous that a distinction needs to made. Friend does not require any kind of modifier, for a friend is a friend. The fact that there is a computer screen and a whole lot of country between us, does not lessen the love we have for each other. Enough said.

So next time you decide to create a hierarchy of friends, make sure you examine the important things such as trust, love and support. Not where where you first met them.

Until next time…

Less QQ, and way more pew pew!

______________________________________________________________

How to help those in need of assistance: 

$10 TEXT DONATIONS: 

REDCROSS to 90999 (Red Cross Disaster Relief)

STORM to 80888 (Salvation Army)

FOOD to 32333 (Regional Foodbank of Oklahoma)

ONLINE DONATIONS: 

http://www.redcross.org/charitable-donations

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org

http://www.regionalfoodbank.org/

More Than Words

Sorry that I have not been able to post in an incredibly long time. The real life boss is the hardest boss of all to beat…

In any case, I am back with a vengeance, as many things have taken place in my absence.

Today’s topic of discussion? Words. Or I guess more so the misuse of words. As an English major, words have been my allies as well as my worst enemies. I have used words as medicine in order to remedy situations, but I have also been known to use words as weapons when I feel threatened. Words are words are words are words. Until they are not.

Let us focus on the word gay, as this has been the topic of much discussion lately. I speak specifically to the use of the word in describing something as foolish, stupid or unimpressive. When I see it/hear it I am sometimes torn because on one hand I certainly do not condone the use of a word that is derogatory to a certain group. I also find myself, as an English major, thinking about etymology and the continual morphing and re-shaping that words undergo. I would even venture to say that most people are not even thinking of the negative connotations when they call something gay that they deem as stupid. They are not looking to marginalize or belittle people, but are in fact just using a word that has been given the stamp of approval by society. They do not understand, as they have not yet encountered resistance, that this word may actually hurt/anger some. They do not realize that they are in fact carrying a loaded gun.

Before you all run at me with pitchforks and torches, allow me to use an example and then make my point (real names and identities are hidden for privacy purposes):

Very recently, I was online, hanging out with a guild and some friends on a lowbie toon. Suddenly, a comment is thrown out into guild chat “Man, trade chat is gay today”. Of course they did not mean that trade chat was merry, showy or homosexual. When it was brought to my attention by a friend (as I like to have 6 whisper tabs open as well and I pop in and out of them), the person who had said it had already logged off for the night. I decided that it would be best to talk to him/her one-on-one rather than call them out the next time I was online.

That was quickly shattered. My friend went to different social media sites and posted about this guild being intolerant in allowing words to be used in an offensive way. This went on and on and on. But what was really done to help the situation? Absolutely nothing. It just ended up being a rant that riled some people up rather than an actual solution to the problem.

I talked to the person the next day about the appropriate use of the word gay. He was in shock. Turns out that he is from Puerto Rico and English is in fact his second language. Much of his English has been picked up from television, movies and what people say in trade chat and instance chat. He was very upset that he made someone feel unwelcome in the guild and vowed to never use that word in that way again.

My point: Words change. Definitions change. Sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad. What we need to start doing is educating people about appropriate use of words, as many people do not understand the effect they can actually have. We live in such a ME society, that most do not comprehend that their words and actions actually affect those around them. Sure, we can rant and rave, foaming at the mouth and spew hatred towards society. Or, we can actually do something to try and cause another shift. Truth is, if enough people address their discomfort or dislike in the certain use of a word in a positive way, then more and more people will come around and realize the negative impact the word has.

Sadly, I see more of the ranting and raving in place of positive action which is just perpetuating the negativity on which some seem to thrive.

I strongly believe in a positive ripple effect. People just need to stop crying and whining and demanding that things change on their own instead of trying to create change themselves.

Until next time…

Less QQ, more pew pew!